The fatigued man slouched back in his chair and sighed, "This stupid computer has kept me awake for a week!" Zeke Johnson was the worst looking businessman in the world. He towered over othre people at 6' 7". His half-shaven face looked like a jungle. Zeke was a cigar smoking computer expert. His ugly yellow teeth formed a threat to anyone that looked at him. The scar running down his face didn't improve his good looks either.
"I'll never find a way into the computers at the First National Bank of Chicago," Zeke exclaimed worriedly.
Zeke had been looking for a way in since he recently got out of jail. He was caught robbing a bank. He was an ordinary office worker until his brain overpowered him into doing evil things.
Zeke decided to go back to his boss at the Barks and Bytes computer company where he worked before he went to jail. He soon found that his job had been given to a Mr. I.M. Wrye.
"But I...," shouted Zeke as Mr. Edwards interrupted.
"No buts, you slimeball," screamed Mr. Edwards. "You are a mierable crook and I don't want to see your face again."
Zeke stormed off. He was broke and didn't have a job. He was very sad. He didn't have anything to do except go home to his computer. Suddenly an idea popped into his head. He could fix it so that Mr. Edwards would get in trouble with the I.R.S.
A few days after that, two men in dark glasses and suit coats showed up at his house. Zeke knew he was in trouble so he made up a story.
"You shouldn't come near me," decided Zeke. "I have a deadly disease called Pax Vobiscum."
"Sounds like a rock group, eh Charlie ?" the tall one asked the shorter one.
Charlie didn't answer the tall guy and they soon left. Zeke deduced that the one named Charlie didn't like people very much. Zeke knew the men he met earlier would be back so he started packing his computer hardware into his car. He had a Corvette so he couldn't fit everything in it. He left his printers at home, borrowed some money from a friend, and moved into a motel.
One day Zeke was getting groceries and a sleek, midnight blue, Buick pulled up behind him. The two men whom he met before told Zeke to get in.
"Suppose I don't feel like it ?" wondered Zeke.
"Well," answered Charlie, "I'll have to use Force."
"You don't look like you could lift a brick," remarked Zeke.
"I didn't say I was going to lift anything," Charlie answered him as he pulled out a gun. "This is Force. He's my friend, but I don't think he likes you that much."
Zeke quietly got into the car. He was very nervous. The two men drove Zeke to a building Zeke never saw before. He was lead down a huge hallway full of people in suits. He was taken into a small room with a single chair in the middle.
"Hey Frank, turn that light on, will ya ?" asked Charlie.
"Sure," replied Frank. "Whatever you say."
Zeke figured that Charlie, a short, dark haired man, was in charge. Charlie and Frank started asking Zeke tons of questions. He started asking them questions. That got them upset.
"So, you won't talk, will you?" asked Charlie.
"All right, all right," answered Zeke. "I admit it, I do have a pretty face." Zeke could sense the anger in Charlie's face. He knew something terrible would happen if he didn't talk.
"O.K. I give up," sighed Zeke. "I'll tell you anything that you want to know."
"Good," sighed Frank happily. "Now we are getting somewhere. I thought you'd never crack."
Zeke told them everything. Then they took him to jail. They were about to leave but Zeke stopped them. "You guys aren't leaving, are you ?" asked Zeke.
"Yes," they answered together.
"But we have such a meaningful relationship," said Zeke. "You wouldn't want to ruin it."
"Buzz off," yelled Frank.
The two men left. Since the jail cells were in the basement, hardly anyone was ever around. Zeke decided to break out. When an offier came with his dinner, he pretended to be sick. The officer went in and Zeke knocked him out cold.
"Sorry buddy, but somebody's got to do it," was all Zeke said to the motionless man.
Zeke escaped out an open window and went back to his room at the hotel where he was staying.
"What in the world is this ?" asked Zeke as he walked into the wrecked up motel room. The place was in shambles. Diskettes were scattered across the floor and his computer was in pieces. Zeke was stunned as he wondered what happened to his priceless computer.
"Aarghhhhhhh!" screamed Mr. Edwards as he jumped from behind the door.
Zeke fell back dazed, wondering what was going on. Being the stronger of the two, Zeke was quickly on top of Mr. Edwards.
The manager got a complaint from the other people in the motel. He called the police. They got there in time to find both Zeke and Mr. Edwards exhausted from fighting. Then they were taken to police headquarters.
"Rat," exclaimed Zeke after he was up and found he was behind bars for the third time.
"What is it ?" asked Mr. Edwards from the cell next to Zeke.
"Well, its a small pest that eats cheese, but that not important right now," answered Zeke. "I'm going to be in here a long time."
"Don't take it so hard," said Mr. Edwards. "You have a long life ahead of you."
"That's easy for you to say," remarked Zeke. "You only have to stay here for twenty four hours.
Zeke fell back on the bed and fell asleep. It would be a long time before he could rob anymore.
© 2001 ryan@forsythe.to